Short lived, interesting hike
I started out the day not able to find my dogs leash or collar or harness. I should have taken it as a sign from above. But I didn’t and proceeded to load my 2.5 yr old and perfectly plump canine into the vehicle and went.
After stopping at tag sale because my daughter can always use more crap, we stopped at store for a leash for my dog not child to clarify as she has been wearing the dog’s collar recently … But I’m not paying almost ten dollars when I know it’s somewhere in my house. My daughter probably was wearing it and hid it somewhere. So I was going to to say screw it to my hike but as the sky seemed to clear I said, “self we will go for a hike”. I know of places where my dog doesn’t need to be leashed.
We couldn’t go far because my car is on a slow and painful death so we swung into one of our local, lovely nature preserves. Luckily, no one was there most likely because it was 100 percent humidity and the bugs are out in full attack mode. Loaded the dog out of car, child … Got bug spray lathered me and child in it and off we went.
Who knew so much could happen in .5 miles! My daughter had to pee. She started squatting with her panties still on cause the concept of peeing in the woods is so much different than at home. Pull down your stuff and go. No . So I hastily pull everything down and underwear, socks and shoes become a casualty. She then asked to lose the skirt and I say fine, you have a fairly long shirt on and no one is around. But shortly thereafter, she asks for her tutu back. Most likely because bugs were biting her butt.
Then on way back and may I add, .1 mile from car, my child decides to jump in a tiny stream. The same stream I tried to clean panties in and turned black from swamp mud. Up And down she jumped and yes, the “tutu” fell off. Black. So she finally gets bored and asks to go. So I put her tiny bare butt on my back, yell for dog and head back to car.
A final insult was my failed bug spray as I was carrying her and some kamikaze bug got my elbow. Not like I can defend myself as my arms were holding tiny hiney legs. I swat bugs, child goes down. I took the bite for my daughter because I am an awesome mom. We make it back to car. Load everyone in and home again we go. My very fun and buggy hike. FYI I am the only one who got attacked … Is it because I am so sweet? Hahahahahaha.
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