Browsing Category: The Stories and Travels of Strictly Just Mom

The Stories and Travels of Strictly Just Mom is a section that is no Abby Girl. Not family friendly ideas and tips. It’s an area where mom gets to take over and right all about fun things to do without children.

So far, I’ve reviewed some awesome ideas of things to do without children in the Fairfield area of Connecticut.

Stay tuned for more wild mom adventures and tips of things to do when you are child free.

 

 

facts-of-mom-life

I have learned many facts about mom life just in five short years from the adventures of mom life and had many new experiences. For mother’s day this year, I just want to share a few of the things I have learned from a Christain perspective. Besides, there can always be a part 2 next year!

Patience Lots and Lot’s of Patience-

This past year this has been clearer than ever. We couldn’t go to indoor locations. The year became the year of we. As in I thought I was going to send the darling to school and well, that didn’t happen and I am now staring at another year of homeschool. She is a child who tests boundaries and a mom’s patience at every step. We are also very similar so often it is like I am getting frustrated with a smaller version of myself. But strong-willed littles are tomorrow’s leaders, right? 

MESSY CHILD

Being a parent of a special needs child is also not easy and takes a whole other level of patience. Sometimes she cannot speak. I have to be her voice when she becomes frustrated and anxious. God never gives us more than we can handle. However, sometimes as a mom the patience just seems like a heavy load. So I have learned ways to cope. Take time for me even if it’s a ride to the store where I can be with myself and talk to God or sing insanely loud. It also takes patience with not just my child but everyone around me that thinks they know the answers. God didn’t create anyone perfect. We are lumps of clay to be molded by the potter himself. Only He truly has the answers 

Even with my own husband. I have had to learn patience with our child. Sometimes we do not see eye to eye. We were raised in totally different households and it isn’t always easy. I was raised in a theater family in Westchester. I now love hugging trees. My husband grew up on a rural farm in Dutchess County. He uses trees as firewood.   So being patient and finding common ground is something that is a work in progress between us.

Kids Can do awesome stuff Which leads to Inspiration for Mom-

My child has taught me so much. She has done more than some adults and pushed limits in crazy ways. During the pandemic we became wanderers. We walked into the woods and started wandering. She was only four when the pandemic hit. We went to remote locations. Bushwhacked. Rock scrambled and at times I wanted to give up. But, she pushed me on. We are now over 700 miles and she has done most on her own two feet over the last five years. We completed probably 200 plus since the Pandemic started in March 2020. So it taught me to not say “I can’t” but instead, I can. Our Bible verse is “I can do all things through Christ Who Strengthens Me.” Phil 4:13. My child has shown me that this is completely possible. 

mom life

Not in My Time-

I tried and tried to always do things in my way and my time. However, this isn’t even Biblically Possible. My child has really shown me that things happen in God’s Time. Not my time. I cannot have it my way.

Right down to my pregnancy. I was ready to go back into acting. Go on a tour. Leave my husband in the dust for a while and guess what happened? I got pregnant after years and years with my husband. My first pregnancy test wasn’t even positive. But, I did the moonwalk across the floor while singing can’t touch this. My husband said it’s up to God and ya know what? A few weeks later a loud voice woke me up at about 2 am and told me to go take another pregnancy test. I laughed and guess what? The test was very positive. I couldn’t have it my way. But ultimately my daughter’s unplanned entrance was the best miracle that ever happened to me.

Even now, I mentioned before the year of me and now it is we. I was really excited to work on my own. Set forth on my new journey while my child was at school and well, again not up to me and that was not His plan. God had other plans. Remember Proverbs 16:9?

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

And this past year during the Pandemic, I left it all up to Him and more doors have opened than they ever would if I would have had the year of me. I knocked and He answered.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7

 So my child showing me how I need to leave it up to God has actually worked really well. He has established my steps into very cool directions and I couldn’t ask for a better person to step with than my mini-me even though sometimes she can drive me a tad bonkers. We have knocked on many doors together and they have taken us on awesome adventures.

I have learned children are always watching their mom …

She wants to be just like mom. Which I think is fairly common especially in the younger years. I know as a teenager all I wanted to do was run away from my parents. But I feel like if I set a strong Christian foundation for her maybe she won’t ever want to run away from me or maybe just run away for a bit and come back. 

I love this parable in the Bible:

The Wise and Foolish Builders

 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

So I try to build a strong Christian foundation for her to follow and hopefully she will be like me and follow in example in all her ways as she grows. 

start children off in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 26:6

And because my child is watching me I have to work on weak areas in my life such as my tongue because children are like little parrots. They repeat everything. I mean everything and I have to come up with some quick answers. Have to hold that tongue. 

keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies Proverbs 34:13

And let me tell you, the tongue is quick and saying some wicked stuff. So instead I have had to learn to use my mouth for good. Like lifting others up and being positive. Especially now in times that can seem so dark with no end in sight.

But even things she does. Most recently the potato man she drew on the bedroom wall to keep shadows away. I just rolled with it after I calmly explained why we don’t draw on walls. Obviously, there are times when she needs to know she did wrong and there are consequences. It’s just a matter of how and what spews from the depths of my large, booming mouth. Hold that tongue. My husband likes to remind me about how loud I constantly am. I simply tell him that I’m projecting. 

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An Unexplainable Love-

Love is Patient, Love is kind, Love is so many things, and having a child is all these things and more. My daughter and I have a saying, it’s Me and her against the world. A mother’s love is losing sleep, wiping boogery noses, being there to cheer them on and dry their tears. Last week, Abby ended up getting very ill. It took a day and a half of me being right by her side. If I moved, she would scream in fear. I got zero work done. But, my child comes first, and my love for her. 

My husband has lost a lot less sleep than I. I even co-sleep with mine right now because of situations that have come up. My husband moved into my daughter’s room for happy nights of peaceful slumber amongst the unicorns and fuzzy pink blankets. But a mother’s love. I cannot even truly fully explain it. It has pushed me and made me a better person. Even though I think I will be sleep-deprived for the foreseeable future. Besides God, I will never love anyone more than my little girl. But, it’s a different type of love. Like I said, an unexplainable love. 

mom and daughter life

Still Learning About Mom Life

I’m still learning. Remember, God knew us before we were born. He created each person unique and special in their own ways with their own talents, gifts. I’m not sure if I will have another child. It’s not up to me. But, I guarantee you that the second child would be a whole other experience. Some things might be similar. But, like I said every person is unique like the stars in the sky or the snowflakes that fall in winter’s breath. So each parenting experience is unique too. The journey I am on with my daughter will continue to teach me new things and toss me curveballs. But, ultimately with God by my side, I know I have this and He won’t steer me wrong.

Therefore, I ask every mother reading this today to look inside themselves and see what their children have taught them? When you take a minute to step back and think about it, you will be amazed by everything our children have taught us. I’m ready for the next chapter. Are you?

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how-parents-can-adventure-without-the-kids

You read that title correctly. Parents can adventure without the kids. In fact, it is important to still have some time without them. Shocker, there is life without children once you have them. My husband is horrible at going away even for a few hours without our daughter or his firstborn, the family dog. But, it can be done. Think of it as a time to reconnect and breathe. However, we become so wrapped up in our daily lives, that everyone deserves some downtime. Read some important tips on what to pack, and how to prepare to adventure without the kids.

What to Pack in Your Kid’s bag-

  • a couple of changes of clothes. Pretty much extra of everything
  • a favorite stuffed animal
  • emergency information
  • any medicine or supplements your child takes
  • toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, weather-appropriate items
  • story-time book
  • Mask

Side note: my child loves to pack her own suitcase. Double-check it. One time, we ended up on top of a mountain with a computer.

Leave-

The child, their bag, and the car-seat at the sitter. Give love and then leave. No mushy dramatic goodbyes. Keep it lighthearted and go. Do not look back. Get in the car and go.

*make sure the car seat is clean. It’s amazing what these chipmunks store in there. It’s like Black Beards lost treasure and some treasure should stay lost.

travel without kids
ready to go

What to Pack in Your bag-

  • Clothes appropriate for where you are going. Maybe even something the husband likes. Leave the yoga pants and stained with God knows what, mom shirts at home. My husband hates loud printed pants. Sorry Lularoe, my husband has a disdain for you. In other words, make what you pack special.
Lularoe Heaven
Lularoa print Heaven
  • birth control. Yes, I am going there. birth control. Condoms. Whatever your pleasure. If you use the rhythm method, or if the intent of this trip is to make minions (not the yellow guys), then you obviously don’t need any of these. My mom has reminded me a million times to not get pregnant on this night away. Hi mom!

Therefore I have a disclaimer:

Mom, I will be playing board games the whole time and this section applies to other moms. Not me. Board games and R & R the whole time.

  • makeup. If you use makeup, then don’t forget it! If you prefer all-natural, then don’t worry. Thanks to masks, we don’t need lipstick anymore.
  • your medicines. Headache. Allergy etc. Be prepared.
  • toothbrush, toothpaste. Your man doesn’t need dragon breath in his face the whole time.
  • deodorant. Moisturizer. Hair products etc.
  • ID. I forgot my ID once at a winery and they wouldn’t let me do the wine tasting. It was a huge bummer.
  • money. Yep, can’t get too far without money. Well, unless you and husband are hiking into the woods for this getaway. Into the Woods, great musical and has a husband and wife. Magic beans. Sorry, getting back on track.
  • cellphone and charger. But don’t text the sitter over and over and you don’t need to flash photos of your kid with your husband all night. He knows what they look like and I’m sure the waiter doesn’t need to see them either or any other random stranger you might happen upon.
  • confirmation info for the trip
  • a list of fun things to do in the area. Attractions both of you will find fun, not just you.

Mask. It’s like the American Express saying, “never leave home without it.”

  • Camera

Avoid-

food
Example of What not to eat. Where’s the antacids?
  • Getting sunburned before you head on your trip. Lobster Lady ain’t sexy
  • Giving yourself a rash. So no frolicking through the poison ivy before you go.
  • Long toenails. Trim those bad boys before you go. Wolverines have sharp claws. Not you.

Something else you should do …

Shave. If you do this type of thing. Some don’t and more power to you. My excuse is mom-life. I seriously never seem to have the time or lack the motivation … But, for this occasion, shave.

So speaking of those wolverines mentioned above, if you do shave, do so before you leave. Whether you plan on just strolling through the sites or holding up in the room with the do not disturb sign on the door, shave. As I get older, shaving feels awful. So I use Nair. Just don’t leave on for more than ten minutes and keep out of reach of children. No baby naked mole rat or said child, applying to the family cat. Could you imagine?

adventure without kids
Shameless plug, this print and others available through our artwork page
  • Find your Zen. Relax. Breathe. Perhaps even make a playlist for the car ride up. My husband likes the news radio station. Not relaxing. Swear he is 85 and not almost 45.

Husband-

Make sure his good clothes are washed. Not his play clothes. Mine loves his super ugly plaid shorts. Go figure, hates my loud pants, but loves his plaid shorts.

Side Note: ALWAYS check pockets before items get washed whether you are doing daily laundry or wash for a night away. I found half-melted chocolate in the dryer. Killed some of my clothes. Looks like I had an explosive blowout. The daughter’s and husband’s clothes just fine. Thought the small child was one that was hiding chocolates in the pockets, it was the big kid!


Otherwise, he can hopefully pack all his own stuff from there. The mom has more on her plate getting the kids to a sitter and unmomming herself. Debeastfying takes time and energy.

adventure without kids
retro

Pets if you have them-


Leave water and food for cats. Mine will have an unpeaceful protest if they don’t have ample of everything and a clean litter box. I swear my husband’s cat is in the backroom now making “cat lives matter signs.”
Dog- leash, vet info and any medicines they take

Then go down the list of all pets you have and just get them situated and to wherever they are going or not going. We are fortunate that our friend watches Abby and the dog together.

Final Thoughts-

Not every adventure has to be with the children. It’s super important that the husband and wife have time to themselves too. There are plenty of awesome local places in the Hudson Valley for a night away. Where are we heading? Follow us on social to find out! Want us to come to you on our next night away? We have a media kit available and several services that we offer from social media blasts to short videos, blog posts, and professional photography. But for now, I’m running late for a very important date!

I will honestly, be spending this time relaxing and enjoying not co-sleeping with baby ninja and taking in the scenery. No cat biting my toes tonight! Here is to a whole night of not saying, “don’t make me …”

Peace, Love and French Fries-The mom of Adventures of Abby Girl

how to adventure without kids
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moms-night-out-ideas

Moms night out ideas can be expansive. For me, it has never happened in the history of Abby girl or 3.5 years. Mom got away for a totally overnight and it was amazing. What did I do on this overnight? There are so many things a mom can do. See what I did on mine! Perhaps you will feel inspired.

First, I staged a mom takeover of all the social media outlets Abby Girl is on for mom’s night away. It wasn’t a huge takeover. But, a takeover none the less. I’m a social media geek so of course my first move would be of social media related. Then things started rolling and my escape approaching.

Preparations for mom’s night away-

The prep started earlier that day as I dragged Abby through Kohl’s. For such a special occasion, a mom needs a real bra. Not a stretched out sports bra. Mom’s night deserved perky boobs. A mom also needs not-yoga pants. I recently destroyed my jeans somehow (the washer monster ate them) so I needed a new pair. Then, I squeezed myself into a pair of trendy ones with holes. I was going to get a shirt too. However, everything looked ugly.

I came home with an hour to spare and showered and then put on real makeup and jewelry. Also, when I arrived at my house. two boxes sat on my front step stuffed with Sephora . It was like Christmas for my face. Brian, my husband, actually asked what was up with all the glitter on my face. I sarcastically, told him I was going out stripping because there is such a calling for mom bodied strippers in their late 30s.

The Long Drive-

Moms night out ideas
My shocked, am I really escaping face

I then drove out of freak snow and ice storm toward my brother’s house in Connecticut (yes, it’s April). I hit some lovely Friday traffic before exiting the freeway. So I just continued to blast my music at an almost teenage level volume because there were no little ears in the car. I also began to miss my yoga pants and ugly drawstring homeless hippie pants as my button on my jeans dug into my stomach. I ended up having to release the button.

When I turned on route 7, I noticed that all the traffic had drained my gas tank. It was now raining fairly hard and GPS took me over the river and through the woods for over twenty five miles turning about every 3/4 of a mile onto winding roads. In those twenty five plus miles, I only passed a couple very vintage looking gas pumps where they didn’t even have a swipey reader for your card. I was not stopping in the pouring rain for that and the prices were stupid expensive. Where were my decent gas stations? Luckily, I made it my brother’s with twenty miles left in my tank. Winner.

Arrival-

At my brother’s house, I was greeted by his large dog, Silo, who tried to take my heels right off my feet. Luckily, the battle to keep my heels on didn’t last too long as soon after arrival, my brother then took me to his girlfriend’s house.

At her apartment, I quickly discovered my non-mom jeans were not stair friendly. Going both up and down them, I couldn’t really bend my legs. I walked kind of sideways like a cowboy at the OK corral down the stairs holding the railing. We were there for a bit before her sister took us to the restaurant.

Gironomo Tequila Bar & Southwest Grill, Fairfield, CT

We went to Gironomo Tequila Bar & Southwest Grill. Now, when I think Tequilla, my mind flashes to that bar scene with Pee Wee Herman. Gironomo is nothing like that and no, spoiler alert, I did not get drunk and do the tequila dance on their bar.

Geronimo Tequila Bar and Southwest Grill
Geronimo Tequila Bar and Southwest Grill

When we first walked in, it was very loud and crowded as it was a Friday night. I would actually be concerned if it wasn’t because to me, loud and crowded, means popular. There was a miscommunication as Danielle, thought she had the party room reserved upstairs. I here awesome rumors about the upstairs and we were a little sad to hear that we were going into the dining area with her ten friends, instead. I’m very curious of the scorpion table and dancing that is upstairs. So, I will have to wait for another visit to see the elusive table. Dancing I can do anywhere and trust me I do.

The Food-

Geronimo Tequila Bar
yummy goodness that’s not a juice box or french fries

We were seated and her friends slowly filtered in and sat down. I started with a Margarita and fresh Guacamole that is prepared right at the table. We requested less salt and it still was fairly salty. But, I like salt. So that’s alright for me. I’m also not a huge tequila person. I know. I’m at a tequila bar and I usually don’t do tequila. There are many other cool drink options FYI. But, I had to go for the tequila. It is my blogger duty. I really liked it and had two.

I also tried the wings and loved the flavor and fact that they weren’t slimy. Recently, I had wings that were covered in sauce and under-cooked elsewhere. These, were the total opposite. I also ate the small elk chilly and the small is the perfect size for one. I couldn’t even get through it! Very tasty. The cheesecake is also really good. We didn’t like the crunchy little balls on top. I’m not sure what those are exactly, as I’m not a culinary expert. I’m the one that has burned water. I also have to note, their attention to detail right down to the tiny cactus on the plate. We think it was cornbread.

Selfies on Moms night out
I loved the lighting in bathroom

After a couple hours, and me taking lots of pictures and a couple random bathroom selfies, we paid the bill and left.

To Little Pub (still in Fairfield, CT)

candle at pub
One little candle, photo courtesy Danielle P.

Back at Danielle’s house, we waited for my brother and decided to go to Little Pub. It now, was after my mom bedtime and the night was still young. I kept asking where the mechanical bulls and dive bars were hiding. FYI Fairfield, CT, is a fancy place and you have to travel over to Bridgeport, for a more colorful bar scene.

rum and coke and tequila shot
More adult drinks on mom overnight

The little pub is a mix of mostly couples and business people. It’s your typical cozy neighborhood bar. My brother and his girlfriend convinced me to keep the tequila theme going and do a shot. I didn’t bite the lime and spewed my tequila. I felt like I was being choked to death.

The second shot, I did bite the lime and managed a whole half a shot, no spewing. Go mom. I then did the other half a shot a little later. I also drank a rum and coke. Gone are the college days where bars would bring us trays of shots.

Sadly, my phone started to die and I couldn’t find an outlet. So, not too many pictures of Little Pub. I also stole one of my brother’s quesadillas. I was keeping the Mexican theme going too. After drinks and a few drunken texts to my lovely friends, we went back to my brother’s house.

lime in mouth. Moms night out ideas
Lime Smiles! My eyes are so blood shot. Blame it on the new eyeliner

Then back to my brother’s house …

At his house, they asked if I wanted anymore shots. I just couldn’t. I’m out of practice. Mom life does that to you. I tried an IPA and it is nasty. I drank a little and just couldn’t do anymore.

We watched an episode of Sons of Anarchy. I kept expecting Elmo to pop up or something. I’m not used to shows that aren’t child friendly. Seriously, can you picture Elmo in Son of Anarchy? I dare you to do it. I then went to the pink spare room and passed out very quickly.

The Morning After-

mom overnight
same clothes, smudged makeup and feeling fairly good

I stumbled out of bed and about an hour later started my journey home. I am pleasantly, surprised that besides being a little dehydrated leading to a headache, I really didn’t have a bad hangover. Though my pinky finger has been twitching since I woke up. Weird. My finger is hung over.

I did however, go on a bagel and bacon quest as I crave large portions of bacon after a night of drinking. FYI I found a place and won’t even mention it. They are very nice, but they put my bacon on my bagel. Gross. Then they took it off and the portion was so small and I ordered a double!

covered in stickers after mom overnight
Back to natural makeup and mom style

I eventually, made it home and my daughter was very happy to see me. Thus ending my mom takeover of Adventures of Abby Girl.

Final Thoughts-

Every mom needs some alone time. You can “go to the store” for that item you need and take longer than needed. Scroll through your phone or listen to crazy music too loud. You find a quiet spot in house. Good luck with tiny ones around. Take a class. Library has free options sometimes. I’m starting yoga. I’ve taken a burlesque class and line dancing lesson with a friend!

rodeo
good times at the rodeo

Go for a night out on town if you can. A couple years ago, I went to the rodeo with a friend and got hit on by the rodeo clown. Yes, I know.

You even go on a, dare I say it, date with your man. Keep things spicey. Just the other night, we went for appetizers at the local pizzeria together.

date night
Date three months after Abby was born

What are somethings mom’s do when they have a chance to escape? Feel free to comment! I might just feature your comments in my next solo adventure blog post and takeover.

 

Housekeeping-

Please remember to subscribe if you liked what you read and you can also follow us on many different social media platforms.  We are also on YouTube. All links should be on the bottom or side of page depending on what you are viewing on. Remember, to tune into Instagram this weekend when Abby answers a couple more questions for our viewers. You can view past weeks questions there too. Oh and one last thing, our sister blog is over at hvparent.com/adventures-of-abby-girl

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